The Fairlawn

When I first arrived at the Fairlawn Hotel I was a bit shocked. It looked a lot less cute than on the website, and my room was somewhat nasty - the shower is over the bath, which is on blocks, and there is no shower curtain! The air conditioning duct runs through the bathroom too, which is something of an eyesore. There was no soap provided in the room, no flannels and the paper in the loo (a nasty, public-toilet styled room) is as cheap as it comes. The bedroom itself is a masterpiece of floral history, with matching blue rose-covered beadspread, drawer-covers, and curtains over the entryways to the convenience in lieu of doors. All this, after the rather palatial marble-and-wood surrounds at the Bajaj Indian Homestay in Delhi, seemed simply too crude to bear. I considered asking to be transferred to another room but was quickly dissuaded from that course by a lady who stays there frequently - apparently it is wiser not to do anything to upset the owner, the tempestuous Mrs. Violet Smith.

I've been at the Fairlawn for five or six days now. The floral patterns have grown on me, I'm getting to know the staff, the guests are nice to talk to and the lights outside (which masquerade as tacky plastic fruit hanging from the doorways and eaves by day) look so beautiful at night that I am quite comfortable here now, despite the food, which is *looks around hoping that the redoubtable Mrs. Smith never sees this* lacklustre, to be kind. Although the best parts of the hotel - like the lounge and that fabulous carved bannister - are upstairs (where my room is not - it's off the dining room), that only makes me think "if I come back to Calcutta, I'll have to ask them to book me in to an upstairs room"... Once you have stayed here, I doubt you could really think of staying anywhere else.